What is church for?

Are you disillusioned by what it's become? For the devout Christian, it's understood that you not only attend a church, but you become part of it and make it your family. Many were raised going to church, and it's just sort of what you have always done. It is synonymous with American culture and the faith of it's people, and yet many have fallen away from their church experience and found church to be unfulfilling.
I have heard the complaint that it's become too institutionalized and too much of a business, always harping on you for your money. That members are cold and unwelcoming, and not really an example of how they picture the people of God being. A bunch of religious hypocrites basically. That it simply doesn't do anything for them.
Many of those objections are valid. The "church"...isn't a place or building, but it's the body of it's members. The people of God. So, if it's become unappealing and fraught with hypocrisy, isn't it the people themselves that are to blame?...Nice people make for a nice church, and problematic people a problematic church. The fault lies with us, not the concept of church itself, which is what people have turned it into.
We've gotten away from the purpose of church as it was meant to be. A gathering of believers in Jesus, for what? Because the central goal of the people of God is to be a family and united. Yes it's to lift up and glorify Jesus and bring people to salvation, but without the Earthly model of our future heavenly existence, there would be no visible demonstration of our hope and life together. Israel was just such a model. Whereas God initially worked through individuals to reveal Himself again to lost mankind, His plan evolved into that of a nation of God that represented Him. But just as today's corporation of institutional hypocrisy falls to be what church ought to be, so Israel ultimately failed to represent God rightly as a nation.
So should we chuck the idea of church then?. The truth is there are still some churches that come pretty close to the shining example of the people of Jesus, that they should be. The Bible says, where Two or more gather in His name, He is in their midst. A successful church is one where it's individual members possess the Spirit of God within themselves. After that, all the healthy things follow of, soul harvest, Bible knowledge, and an organism that provides help and love to all that come in contact with it. When Jesus talked of "building His church", it was implied that it would be the sum of it's parts, not an entity that appears out of the sky. As you have heard it said, "WE are the church".
So what sort of things should a church really do and be? . For starters, it's a community that has resources, providing help and needs for both it's members and people outside of the church or it's faith. There is strength in numbers and as a team, more can be accomplished than through individual pursuit. As far as any given Sunday morning, what should you expect to get from your church experience? One of the first things you think of in church is worship and singing. The body coming together and worshipping corporately, is very special. There is power and opportunity for the Holy Spirit to move on our hearts that takes place. It also has a way to get our hearts and minds prepared to hear good teaching which is why we do it ahead of the sermon.
The sermon itself is what determines for most people whether it's worth sitting and hour to hear and returning every week to do so. Many popular churches are a result of a popular and charismatic preacher that is skilled in offering lessons that are accompanied by entertaining stories and humor. My personal preference has always been more of a direct dissection of the Bible itself, what some call "expositional", "expository" or "inductive" teaching of the Bible, or "word for word" analysis of a given chapter or section of scripture, as opposed to the more topical and general, story driven style of preaching popular in our generation. I have a hard time picturing the apostles at a pulpit espousing humorous anecdotes and jokes about a priest, a rabbi and an atheist going golfing. I see the first century church as Spirited, joyous men and women gathered in a home singing hymns and around a leader that's teaching about Jesus and His relationship with us through the stories of the Old Testament and exciting news from new churches that report the work of the Holy Spirit in their areas.
To sum it up. church is a place where any stranger or visitor should be welcome to hear about God and experience His presence in the regulars that attend, ...but even more so it is where the body of Christ goes to join with their family of faith, encourage and build one another up, receive sound teaching and counsel, and find rich opportunities to serve others and provide needs.

 

dummies

The wife and I were discussing our houseplants. I says "I like them here because they add life to the place". (She didn't like how you have to clean up after their life). We have a combination of real and synthetic plants around the house. I said "I wonder if the real plants get annoyed by the fake ones?". It must be kinda like getting on the bus and looking for a seat, but the bus has mannequins sitting everywhere. Artificial representations of something real. Do they always flatter that which is real? or do they sometimes mock it?

If i met someone who looked and acted exactly like me, and did the same kinds of things i did, and i knew that I definitely was not a twin separated at birth, I bet it would be creepy to see that... uncomfortable. Possibly because deep down we all want to be unique. You ladies hate when you go to a party or some function and there's a another gal there with the exact dress you have on when you were convinced yours was an original. How much more disturbing when it's someone exactly like you? It was fun as a kid to imagine it being true, the urban legend that somewhere in the world everyone has a double. But now we can take heart knowing that in reality, God has made each one of us unique and special like snowflakes. We're everyone of us, "fearfully and wonderfully made".

There's just something irritating about a charade of something you are,...or aspire to be, being in your face.  ESPECIALLY if that portraiture is a gross misrepresentation.  A drastic example for a Christian, would be the "Westborough Baptists" who picket military funerals with anti-gay hate demonstrations. Even most non-Christian and secularists know they are really the lunatic fringe. They are the descendants of those who perpetrated bloodthirsty wars in God's name during the crusades and burned innocent people as witches in Salem. These people though claiming to be Christians, and NOT Christians, yet atheists and those aggressive in their attacks on Christianity love to point out these black eyes of our faith, but it's only intellectual dishonesty and mudslinging based on emotional bias when they're trying to lump all of Christendom together with those bad examples and make it seem like that we've done more harm then good. That's a lie. Yet it can still be an embarrassment.

There also is a practice in our time that is evil, when people deliberately make an issue out of one thing, and attempt to sway the tide of opinion or paint a bad picture based on it. It's seen in political spin doctoring, but also in everyday life when someone intentionally elevates a negative thing and deliberately forgets even an overwhelmingly larger amount of good things the person is or does. You want people to see you as you want to be seen. You don't want to be caught in an awkward moment doing something you're ashamed of, and have that image burned into their mind forever. When that happens to me...it drives me crazy. At work i want my co-workers to think i'm just as capable as them. One of the guys. It's a kind of peer pressure that stayed with me since high school i guess, you fear being singled out by the group. Being whispered and talked about or worse, being rejected. So when you finally show your true colors and make a mistake, you do everything you can to cover it up or fix it before anyone notices. (True colors in the sense that we all are indeed imperfect, not true colors that you are revealed to be inferior to their cliques.)

But getting back to the subject of imitators, the most sinister of ALL doppelgangers, is the one coming who will trick many people into thinking HE is Jesus Christ returning to the Earth. Often when all attempts at sabotaging the credibility of a person have been exhausted, the next move is impersonation. What better way to slander and defame someone, then to masquerade as them and do things that are inappropriate? First you must convince everyone that you're really the one you're impersonating. He wants to steal the Lord's thunder, but the REAL Messiah has a copyright that no one can infringe upon. Don't buy into this impostor, the genuine and authentic Jesus Christ is alive today and seeks to have a personal relationship with you. Do you know Him?








Вы, кто читает этот блог из России. Для меня большая честь. Ее мое скромное удовольствие, чтобы иметь возможность поделиться этими мыслями с вами отсюда в США Пожалуйста, не стесняйтесь комментировать на дне или спросить что-нибудь о том, что Библия говорит, или то, что я основываю свое мнение, я хотел бы услышать от вас, и ответить сразу. Да благословит вас Бог.


Vous qui lisez ce blog de ​​la France, je suis honoré. C'est mon humble plaisir de pouvoir partager ces pensées d'ici aux États-Unis S'il vous plaît n'hésitez pas à commenter ci-dessous ou demander quoi que ce soit, ce que la Bible dit, ou ce que je fonde mes opinions, je serais ravi d'écouter et de répondre immédiatement. Que Dieu vous bénisse.

Real Love

There was a song in the '70's by the Bee Gees called  "How deep is your love?".  God too, wants to know how deep your love is.

I've said many times to people that there's a difference between our human love here on Earth, and the love of God. Most Christians have heard the term "Agape love", and know there are at least four different Greek root words for love used in the New Testament, as C.S. Lewis wrote about in his book "The Four Loves".

What initiated this blog for me though, was thinking about an apparent contradiction of scripture that my wife once asked me about. At that time i didn't give her the answer to it, because my brain is aging and it tends to forget things. She asked "If Jesus asked Mary not to touch Him because He hadn't yet ascended to the Father, then why was Thomas allowed to?" The answer may lie with what the nature of love is where God is concerned, and how He wants us to better understand it.

I hate to go here, because detractors of the validity of scripture love to try and use it as a cop-out objection and reason to distrust the authority and accuracy of God's word, but i believe the meaning of some verses in the Bible, are "lost in translation". But the reason i think it's not a legitimate stance for the opposer of God's word, is i believe it's by design that some concepts are deliberately buried as treasures for the diligent to uncover, and that all of the real vital issues of salvation and knowledge of God are clear enough for children to understand. God is able to obscure just a few things in His word just enough to keep it interesting for those of us who daily keep our fascination with the Bible alive, and in typical God-like fashion those treasures are just as wonderful to us as when we first realised the foundational things of our faith, yet nothing a person needs to know in order to grow in their knowledge of God, will be hid from them. (Do you know what I'm sayin'?)

An example of an apparent contradiction like that is the  "Answer (not) a fool according to his folly.."  verses in Proverbs 26:4,5.

I've learned that when i come across and passage or verse that doesn't make sense, one thing i'm quick to consider is that the way I'm reading it as it's rendered, may not convey what the author was really trying to say. There's something below the surface you don't catch at first glance. (And again i strongly suggest that God knew what He was doing , and the ineptitude of men could never have thwarted what God wanted to accomplish...He's God.) If there were any inconsistencies with how the Bible was written, translated, or put together, they surely happened under the watchful and providential eye of God who had a master plan at play none of us could have ever imagined. It is also important for us to remember that about Him when we struggle with the meaning and nature of our own trials, and to remember Paul's words "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose." Rom 8:28.

It's my feeling now that Jesus saying "touch Me not for I am not yet ascended.." in John 20:17, has a significance to it beyond what it sounds like on the surface. Could Jesus have been really saying "do not embrace me with Earthly affection now, it is a deeper Agape love that you will learn about after My ascension and subsequent return as your Holy Spirit Comforter" ...or something like that? It would explain why Thomas was allowed to touch the holes in his hands and side but she wasn't allowed to touch Him. God wants us to grow and understand nature of His love. Agape love. The love that Jesus Christ had for the world when He allowed us all to crucify Him on a cross. The world understands "love" as something sentimental and touchy feely. It invokes feelings and tears, warmth and emotion, but all of those in reality are effects and consequences of real love, as the Lord intended it. He is the Author of love. All love comes from Him. We are born into the world with the capacity for it, but if a muslim terrorist doesn't express love for us, it's not because he doesn't feel it, it's because he hasn't learned to demonstrate it. Our world is spinning towards chaotic destruction for that reason. Mankind has falsely believed that all people have good and bad in them and that "love" will somehow prevail and triumph. That the good guys will win in the end. God has told us something far different. He has warned us , that left unchecked by a Spiritual guidance He desires us to have with Him, we will indeed eventually come to a destructive end. In other words, without His hand to guide, we will not just naturally work things out for the best. We simply cannot do it. The truth rather is that the evil in us will get stronger and prevail. There isn't enough "natural love" inside us, if you will, to help us survive.

It's time to surrender. To commit ourselves to a Creator who has already shown Himself to be more than trustworthy and caring for us. It's time to come to a place before God in our hearts, where we will admit we can't make it on our own. Where we confess our need for Him, and for His love. Love is not a built-in, genetic, innate program in us. We need HIM. His word is our instruction manual. The gospel of Jesus's death,burial, resurrection and ascension is our real life training demonstration module. It teaches us how to do it right. How to love with His kind of love, not ours. We know deep down that love is better than hate. Don't let anyone tell you that you cannot legislate morality, all of our laws in this land are based on God's commandments. Everything you are forbidden to do has to do with harming your neighbor in some way. We know right from wrong, we just have forgotten where right comes from. We've been lied to by the god of this present world that you have it in yourself to love naturally. It's a lie. God is love, and where God is, you find love. Go find Him...His name is Jesus Christ.




Ihr, die ihr diesen Blog lesen aus Deutschland. Ich fühle mich geehrt. Seine meiner bescheidenen Vergnügen in der Lage sein, diese Gedanken für Sie Aktien von hier in den USA Bitte zögern Sie nicht unten kommentieren oder um etwas bitten, was die Bibel sagt, oder was ich stütze meine Meinungen zu, würde ich lieben, von Ihnen zu hören und reagiert sofort. Gott segne Sie.



Вы, кто читает этот блог из России. Для меня большая честь. Ее мое скромное удовольствие, чтобы иметь возможность поделиться этими мыслями с вами отсюда в США Пожалуйста, не стесняйтесь комментировать на дне или спросить что-нибудь о том, что Библия говорит, или то, что я основываю свое мнение, я хотел бы услышать от вас, и ответить сразу. Да благословит вас Бог.

Emmanuel

I'm not sure if everyone in the world would say that , at sometime in their lives, they felt like there was someone or something watching them. And i'm not talking about surveillance cameras. But i think many people have. I know i have, as a child, felt like i was being watched, and it was not uncomfortable or freaky in any way, but rather kind of comforting. And that was before i believed in God, or at least before i came to know Him personally.

Of all the situations and implements of pain you could endure, i think abject loneliness must be the most horrifying to the soul. It's been said that hell is more clearly defined by it's state of being separated from your Creator, than it is the fiery torment. Without other people to interact with, and if you're found in a place of total silence forever...you're driven insane. I've contemplated just for a second the feeling of floating up in outer space if you could do it very long and still breathe...where you're left alone out there and no one knows where, no sound...no light...with no hope of being found ever. It's chilling isn't it?

When you're a child and alone, you're afraid. You instinctively desire to have your mother nearby, even as a small infant, you have no concept yet of the of what danger even is because you're left alone, you just feel afraid. We're created with that need for contact. For connection. For love. But somewhere along the way we find a way to be self sufficient. We learn to take care of ourselves and can handle being alone at times. Yet for how long?

The truth is we're like that by design. The Creator has installed within us a need for companionship. And the wonderful thing is He did so just so that He could have the pleasure of being there for us and being that comforting presence. But how do we connect with God?...How do we know where to find Him? We've been conditioned by the unGodly world we live in, to do without Him. To live as though He isn't there. God instead of being that comforting presence we can warm up to at any time , and a friend always at out disposal, has been relegated to a religious figure and distant supreme being we worship at a church one day a week. We think maybe if we make a sacrifice of time to Him at least that one day, He will be appeased and we can have a clear conscience. We can only hope that by offering up that Sunday morning at His altar, He will be pacified so that we can get on with our lives and live them as we please. Ironically, God actually does desire human sacrifice. A LIVING sacrifice...but not alive only until we're thrown into the fire as a gift to a bloodthirsty God. When the Bible says we should "present ourselves a living sacrifice holy and acceptable which is our reasonable service", that means each and every day we live...the rest of our lives we're to live,no longer for ourselves, but for Him. That's a kind of slavery that rewards you richly and frees
you from another slave-state you didn't know you were in. Everyone is a slave to one of 2 masters but sadly most people have chosen the wrong one. Unlike all other masters, God is one who requires service only so that He can make you more free, and more content in life, happier and filled with His love and joy. All other slave masters want only service for themselves. God doesn't need service, He has only OUR best interest in mind.

God said "come near to ME, and I will come near you". We must make the move to approach Him, because He has already shown His love towards us and did everything necessary to make us acceptable in His sight. Now He only wants our full attention. Our commitment and our hearts. Being a good church attendee or religious isn't what He wants. We can come near to Him in prayer anytime anywhere, and the more often we approach Him, the better we will get to know Him as He desires us to.

So if you sense an other-worldly presence some day, one that actually comforts you and doesn't scare you, it could be your Creator inviting you to get better acquainted with Him. If you're already walking with Christ, He is Emmanuel that is with us. He walked and talked with Adam in the garden in the cool of the day, and He longs to have that kind of relationship restored to us. "Emmanuel" (or Immanuel) means "God with us", or "with us is God" in Isaiah 7:14 speaking of the Messiah to come. It describes a personable God who is powerful and above all, yet having the feature of uniting Earthly man with All-mighty God. God beside us, next to us. One of us. Through Jesus Christ we can experience closeness with our Creator. One of my favorite Bible verses is Revelation 21:3 which says "And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be WITH them, and be their God." It conveys God's desire to be with us and it moves me. If you are still on the outside looking in, "COME!" God calls you. Taste and see that the Lord is good. He is extending His most heart felt invitation to you...knocking on your very heart's door. He wants to have a relationship with you. And you don't even have to be perfect , or get clean enough first. He accepts you as you are. Come. Read the gospel of John and see for yourself what this Jesus stuff is all about.


Ihr, die ihr diesen Blog lesen aus Deutschland. Ich fühle mich geehrt. Seine meiner bescheidenen Vergnügen in der Lage sein, diese Gedanken für Sie Aktien von hier in den USA Bitte zögern Sie nicht unten kommentieren oder um etwas bitten, was die Bibel sagt, oder was ich stütze meine Meinungen zu, würde ich lieben, von Ihnen zu hören und reagiert sofort. Gott segne Sie.

Вы, кто читает этот блог из России. Для меня большая честь. Ее мое скромное удовольствие, чтобы иметь возможность поделиться этими мыслями с вами отсюда в США Пожалуйста, не стесняйтесь комментировать на дне или спросить что-нибудь о том, что Библия говорит, или то, что я основываю свое мнение, я хотел бы услышать от вас, и ответить сразу. Да благословит вас Бог.

Helping Dad

"It was the first time that it had been suggested that I go help my father with anything." 

Did you ever help your dad with things he was doing when you were a child? Did your dad ask for your help?. I believe there's something very endearing and healthy about helping dad. As a dad myself, i learned that its a gesture of love to involve my children with my business on occasion. I understood that feeling and remembered when my own father involved me. There's a sense of feeling needed...that you have a contribution to make...that you you're wanted and it strengthens your bond. Even if dad really was capable of doing the project or task all by himself. That's the beauty of the thing, dad was more interested in your company and in giving you that feeling of loving interaction, than he was in having a helping hand.

Our heavenly Father desires to involve us like that. Its clear that when He came into the world on His mission, it was an honor for us to have 12 of us selected to walk alongside Him, and to take up the torch of His message after He left. His mission was to save the world, but He got the world involved in the process. Unlike a captain who needs a crew, i don't believe the all-sufficient God needs anything, and could have spread His gospel in other ways to the world and to every generation. We're privileged to be asked to take part in His mission, and not only take part in it, but to reap rewards from it. How cool is that! Besides the aspect of giving your kid a sense of being needed, there is the element of "on-the-job training". You're modeling character for them...giving demonstration on how to do things. At first God gave us written record of His word and law...then something new and more powerful happened when He came to demonstrate it. His twelve apprentices were trained to do and say the things He said and did, just as He relayed to them what HE saw HIS Father say and do!

With the responsibility of carrying the gospel message of the world though, we wont be entrusted to effectively relay it by ourselves. God has also provided the very Essence of Himself to continue to walk alongside us as we carry out His commission. We're filled with His very Holy Spirit when we have surrendered our lives to Him, and it is really a joint effort in the mission from then on. Still we feel a concern at times for the weight of what we bear..for the gravity of that calling and how serious a matter it is, and so we don't want to fail.

But we do fail.

We're sinners telling the world they mustn't sin. It sometimes feels sorta hypocritical. But God knowing our wretched state, wanted us to come and help anyways. He was the dad saying "here, carry this or do this...I'll help you"  It's when Jesus really shines through us, that they are drawn to Him. When we've done just enough to convey the invitation, and stepped aside to allow God to take it from there. Even as we stumble and fall, as we fail in our efforts to display the new life of Christ in us and deliver a message of salvation anyone can receive no matter how sinful they are, we're still helping Daddy and He didn't expect us to be perfect just yet, only to "strive" for perfection and aspire to it, knowing the promise that one day we'll be like Him in perfection. I was once an apprentice at my job where i now carry a journeyman's card. The Journeymen that i learned the trade by working with, used to have little sayings like "if you're not making mistakes, you're not doing anything". At the time when i was desperately trying to establish my worth in the job place, that adage was of little comfort, but i got what they meant nonetheless.  Dad will ask for our help, but when we blow it, He will be patient and reassuring . We need that comfort and guidance until we're able to finally stand on our own two feet and carry on the tasks ourselves. Sadly many Earthly fathers have not understood how devastating it can be, when their little helpers make a mistake or something goes wrong, and are scolded too harshly. It can cause life-long traumatic consequences for them.

In the end, all that will remain is faith hope and love, but love is the greatest. Not whether we did the job perfect. It's about love, about family..relationships, caring, and.....helping Dad.

WITHERED

A good friend of mine blogged recently that as believers in Jesus we need to be aware that God will not let sin go unchecked within His body. In other words, if the body of Christ is to be an example to the world of the holiness of Christ, we must first take care of business at home. We need to get our own houses in order. We need to look in the mirror first...remove the planks from our eyes. As my buddy also pointed out, we wont ever be perfect, it's not about that. It's about our heart attitudes. Our commitments to Him. And scriptures are in abundance that talk about that,..."as you have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him"  (Col 2:6).  Abiding in the vine of Jesus Christ, will bring forth fruit. (John 15).

Of late Christians are on trial with the world. They have become aggressively active in the promotion of "gay marriage", and because we tell them that God opposes it, we're the bad guys. It's starting to happen folks. fasten your seat belts  The battle lines are being drawn. Christians are becoming an irritation to the world. A thorn in their side. I came home from work last night and surfed the TV a little, but stopped on the "Russell Brand" talk show which i never watch, but i saw this guest sitting there with a t-shirt that had big bold letters on it saying "Jesus said you must be born again" and clutching a little Bible . He was invited on the show in order to make fun of. The guy was sincere and unwavering, but the host and his guests mocked and insulted him seeking to make the audience laugh. We wont have much more time of being tolerated by them. But that for me is a very definite sign of the end. As Israel was instructed by God to wipe out nations in Canaan that refused to let His children pass by them, He also will not tolerate a world that offends His own in our time either. We'll be taken away, and God will burn up whats left. Sadly many "Christians" are being deceived by this watering down of God's truths and holy standard. There is a grievous movement towards acceptance of homosexuality...abortion, and emergent theology. When we aren't solid in our understanding of the whole word of God and His righteousness, we become easy prey to these subtle deceptions.

It's becoming increasingly harder to be a loving fruit inspector. The walls go up and you're accused of being judgmental. Yet God in His word (that Christians aren't studying), says "But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin."(Hebrews 3:13).  Christians seem to be more and more unable to receive exhortation. To open up about themselves when someone lovingly points something out. There's defensiveness which is of the flesh and pride. There's chippyness..there's close mindedness because they want to claim salvation in Jesus, but continue to live as they wish in the world and love the things of the world which John tells us we ought not to do. They are immature Christian babies who haven't grown up spiritually. I've been banned by every single "Christian chat room" online because i spoke the truth in love and it offended them, it wasn't what they called love. Their version of love is the world's version.

Until the things of God become more important to us than what we love in this world, our spiritual growth will be stunted. And by the lesson Jesus gave of the fig tree being cursed, that indifference may prove to be eternally fatal. In the book of Proverbs we see how God will judge inappropriate behavior of the lost (Prov. 6:12-15)  But Proverbs also indicts the believer in 29:1 "He, that being often reproved hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy."   God says in 1 Peter 4:17  "For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God? "  Please brethren don't bristle when a brother or sister offers a word of exhortation or correction. Remember in Hebrews 3,  sin deceives that way. We accept the Lord joyously at first, but if we don't water and nurture that seed of faith with the word of God and be enriched by it, we may fall away.  Jesus said in both Matthew and Luke in approximately the same verse in each book, "And now also the axe is laid unto the root of the trees: every tree therefore which bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire." (Luke 3:9).   Revelation 6:13 describes a fig tree being shaken by a mighty wind and the untimely figs falling off of it. This is what will happen in the last days with the church. A purging...a cleansing. If your house is built on a rock remember the Lord said, you withstand that wind. Build brethren...build. Don't rest on your laurels. On your "lees" as Zephaniah put it in 1:12 . He said God would punish those in Jerusalem that were only interested in leading a quiet and tranquil life. In Psalm 1 you see how that a love for God's word produces growth and spiritual health as "tree planted by the rivers of water". May we His church, be ever growing and loving the Word of life that sustains us and sets us apart.

thinking

I've been doing some thinking. I've had some thoughts. There's been a few things on my mind lately. A lot of things. I think a lot, constantly really. About what i should be doing..about what God's trying to teach me. About the substance of what my immediate plans amount to, and right now i'm just thinking about thinking. It's getting a little weird.

As i was driving to work, i had some thoughts. A very common occurrence for my commutes, probably for yours as well. Unless you're really enthralled with what's on the radio...or some music. I indeed enjoy those diversions as well, and that drive time is also good for praying. But more than anything it's cognitive festival.
Anyhow there i am on 75 thinking and making sure i'm not speeding, and i thought "i wonder how different a person i am than anyone else, and how similar i am to everyone...in the eyes of the Lord". I already know that (by His grace) i think about Him more than nearly all of the drivers in the hundreds of vehicles heading southbound past me in the opposite direction. I sometimes think "how much advantage in the game of life should i be procuring by that?".

I have idle thoughts or just thoughts about my daily affairs that aren't spiritual per say, just like everyone else, but i've noticed i'm less preoccupied with them than ever before. Honestly i'm really losing interest in the constitutionally guaranteed happiness pursuant thoughts most people think most of the time....i think.

Many of my thoughts are introspective, and i do a lot of praying during the day. I cant help but wonder what others around have going on in their heads. Most people do not think about God much, as they do not know Him, or know Him well. There is a verse in Psalm 10:4 that i often think about. It states in the King James " The wicked, through the pride of his countenance, will not seek after God: God is not in all his thoughts." the "wicked" being those outside of Jesus Christ. He's not in all, or any of their thoughts. "through the pride of his countenance.."  That's different than thinking about yourself with the knowledge of God. Self examination isn't pride. The Psalmist is saying they are full of themselves, which is really what we all are in our flesh. I found it interesting how other translations render this...one of them says "The wicked are too proud to seek God. They seem to think that God is dead."...another one says " ....In all his thoughts there is no ROOM for God."  They are self absorbed. What is it that occupies the majority of our thoughts? That's a question worth contemplating. We are what we think. King Solomon spoke of a guy in Proverbs 23 who has an evil eye. In other words a "wicked man". One who doesn't know the Lord. The most common type of individual on Earth. Even though He dines out extravagantly, or fancies himself to be skilled at culinary arts and has you over to try them out, don't do it he said. The Bible says said his heart isn't with you. It says what he thinks in his heart, is the summation of what he is.

How can we as Christians think differently? how can we distinguish ourselves from the world? God tells us in Proverbs 16:3 "Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established." being intentional in our actions and devoting our efforts to serve and please our Lord comes first, then your thoughts will fall in line. Also Paul gave wonderful words of inspiration and Spirit power commenting in Romans 12:2 "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind..." Let God through His word shape your thinking, rather than the world and it's ways. Then It says you'll prove to the world what is right and acceptable in the eyes of God. I so want that power. I noticed early on in my walk with Christ that my thoughts were changing because i was reading the Bible and growing and maturing in Jesus as a result, a very definite and vital reason we need to dig into scripture every day. It will transform you.......and your thoughts.

Easter is Valentine's Day

                       The ultimate expression of Valentine's day actually is Easter. It just came to me out of the blue on this Sunday during a church service that happened to be literally halfway between the 2 holidays. While the world for the most part no longer celebrates Valentine's day as a "religious" holiday, it indeed has it's roots in church history. One or more fellas named Valentinus helped persecuted Christians get married, then offered the very first "Valentine" at his own departure,  so legend has it. Anglican, Lutheran, and Eastern Orthodox churches have various days of liturgical recognition for their St. Valentines.
                       When saint Valentinus performed secret marriages for persecuted believers, that was a heroic deed that endangered his own life, and expressed love in a very real and sacrificial way. Being martyred for that loving service seems also to speak of the love of His Lord, when Jesus hung on a cross for all of us, and died in our place for sin. So, if Jesus had not given His life for us in that way and then rose from the grave, we'd have no Easter, no Christmas, and no Valentine's day. THEN what would Hallmark do?

THESIS ON CHRISTIAN CHATROOMS

                          In 2003 or so, I began to do Christian "chatting". Although i owned a computer since the 90's and heard about chatrooms, and from what i saw of them at that time, i wasn't interested. My friend was doing it and invited me to join. i tried, but it just wasn't for me. Then one day i was on my computer and for kicks decided to re-visit a room, and looked specifically for a Christian one. I could never have guessed that , that day would be a sort of milestone in my life. As i observed the chatter in that room the first day, i was surprised to find so much worthless chit chat, Godless arguing, and even mean-spirited attacks on God and His word there. I guess i was expecting that since this room was marked "Christian chat", that it would be actual Christians there, fellowshipping and building one another up in faith, and having good enlightening discussions. A decade later I'm still looking for such a venue. It has always been a huge point of fascination for me, that even though there are several so-called "Christian chat" sites, it seems nearly impossible to find a site that has just good , stimulating discussion of God and His word among fellow believers, conducted in love and respect. What you have with most of them , is idle chit chat, if any chat at all. People sitting there saying hi to one another, greeting those who enter, talking about food and the weather, and doing a little playful flirting at times. Let me be clear that my assessment of them is in no way meant to be judgmental or any kind of commentary on the reality of any one's salvation or spiritual condition. Christians indeed are normal people who have regular conversations about the everyday things of life, and my idea of a true Christian is not a picture of a Bible thumper who walks around always quoting scripture and preaching, and "so heavenly minded that they are no Earthly good". It comes down to what these rooms are, and why people come to them. the majority of their users are stay at home moms, and disabled people who use their computers as a means of time killing. In addition you have bored teenagers added to the mix, mostly in evenings and on weekends. This kind of demographic accounts for the style of chat you find there, people chit chatting, getting acquainted, having someone to talk to. I was looking for something else. But in '03, God gave to me a calling to evangelize in there instead. On that first day, at least three separate people wanted to do private messaging with me and i think 2 of them prayed with me to either receive Christ or ask Him for revival and help. I saw that as a sign, and fell prostrate on the carpet with emotion, worshipping God that after so long a time in my walk with Him, it seemed i finally had a clear calling and ministry.

                   The sad thing is, that joy was very short lived. The venue of note was "Yahoo Messenger", which hosted hundreds of chat rooms, and in its categories had Christian rooms, at that time nearly 50, but you had to poke around to find one with anyone in them to have discussions with. Then came the "bots", which i wont go too deeply into, but basically they were empty user profiles that were programmed to post automated messages in the room like a chatter would, sexual in nature for the purpose of luring people to their porn sites. We learned to either tune them out as i did, or many people spent a lot of time banning or blocking them. But the rooms were inundated with them and even though the user list appeared to have many people in them, it was mostly bots. Yahoo made a useless attempt to rid their rooms of them, by installing "Captcha", a screen that supposedly filters automated programs out when the user has to type in a word in order to enter. All it did was make the experience more cumbersome for the real users. There were other sites...Paltalk, Talkcity, etc. All of them small potatoes in comparison to Yahoo.
                    My experience evolved from looking for stimulating fellowship at the very first, to evangelism (which taking place in Christian rooms itself seems odd, but i always likened that to Jesus saying "you wont have gone through the cities of Israel till I come".),... to a kind of ministry to nominal Christians who dominated the ranks of these rooms, along with muslims, atheists, and every conceivable kind of antagonist you can imagine.I came in there day and night. I made friends, but never very close ones. Indeed i could write a book about my experiences with that chatting...the dialogues, the encounters with abusers and attackers and how it taught me many things about my own character...and even the small amount of times i made a good friend or two, and was able to help a couple Christians by way of encouragement. When i would say to someone at church or whatever, that i was doing this kind of ministry, no one ever responded with much passion, because no one really could relate to it. I really felt like a pioneer in the field of chatroom evangelism.

                  Eventually Yahoo closed it's chatrooms. Some of the people who lived in those rooms, went in groups to new sites. Upon visiting them, i found little worth. It was the same kind of cliques of unregenerate Christians i had become passionate against, and who's behavior i disdained. In many of those sites i was banned, because unlike Yahoo, they offered you a way to permanently kick people out who disagreed with you or challenged you in any way, and the rooms become little nazi nests for those cliques. In other upstart chat sites, you have the small talk ladies. I want to find a way now to seek out souls online that i can have stimulating Christian chat with. On one or two very short occasions back in Yahoo, i found a little conversation like that...a couple people having good respectful dialogue about the Bible and things, but i have some opinions about why it's so rare i want to air here.
                  The biggest reason i believe , that you have so hard a time finding deeper discussions about God's word, is Christians flat out aren't very deep in it. They aren't interested in thinking and contemplating on God much. I've said for years that the chatrooms were a microcosm of the world at large. I seriously believe that even in our best Bible believing churches, as much as half the congregation are in danger of surface Christian religious faith that Jesus will vomit away from Him. With chatrooms its even worse, because of the dynamic of anonymity. You are free to be more real, to be even exposed for the deep person you are...no mask and religious airs are at play like when you are in church. All the ugliness comes to the surface, because subconsciously you feel you have nothing to hide from the strangers in cyberspace that you will never meet. What surfaces are Christians who haven't gone deep with God, who haven't walked in the Spirit to the point of self-death. They want to have Bible discussions ok, but in the flesh. Showing you how much they know, or how little. A spiritual "peeing contest" (hope that doesn't offend). "Ever learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth" Paul said in 2 Tim 3:7, what truth????? the truth that in Jesus its all about love, and not about displays of how much you know...its about caring for the hearer...about having grace in your conversation..about building others up, what scripture calls "exhortation". You wont find that conduct much in the so called "Christian chatrooms" these days. They are territorial and defensive, and hostile to anyone who dares give an opinion that might ruffle their feathers. In some of the new rooms i've tried lately, they put up huge banners of rules and policies, stating ever emphatically how they will not tolerate anyone causing disturbance. A fair attempt to keep peace and love in their rooms, but what you have instead, is nazis who feel its their God given mission to police the room, and watch your every word...like the pharisee hoping to catch something out of your mouth so that they can railroad you out of the room. It's a power trip. And it brings about unGodly cliques. One such site states in it's disclaimer above where you would post a forum comment, "this forum is to be used with respect and love...they'll know we are Christians by our love,.." then in the same breath says "doctrinal issues are NOT permitted". They have a different forum for that, but i thought for a second, isn't love itself a "doctrine"? They separate the forums on their site that way for a reason, but in a true Spirit-filled setting,  it seems to me that we can discuss Christian doctrine as we would the weather. It's even more important, and it's what we live. Why should it be set aside as something that needs to be seen as potentially divisive?...It's a sad commentary i think.
                   What you have in the post Yahoo chatroom sites, are room monitors, administrators, or, "admins". Sites like "Paltalk" have had them all along. It may well be that , the absence of that one thing in the Yahoo rooms set them aside , and made them a breeding ground for chaos and strife. They were virtually unpoliced. So there you have , the two extremes. Conversational anarchy, or room monitor power tripping. A study could be done at that dichotomy alone.

                   So again in conclusion, if anyone knows of anything online, a Christian think tank even, where theology and the Bible can be talked about in the Spirit that Authored it, in a causal setting, or possibly in live chat, please share it with me.

in Him,
Mark (shiloh/shiloh_kset/chatnoah)

peace

Absolution

Here's a question...Is it possible for you to receive the forgiveness of God, without really asking for it? or, can you be forgiven if there hasn't been any repentance? I'm guessing most people at least to my second wording of the question, would be tempted to say no.

I would like to submit to you the statement Jesus made on the cross in Luke 23:34 " Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do" . Do any of us REALLY know what we're doing when we sin? I believe most of the sinning you and I do in our lives, is not calculated, deliberate sin and defiance, although for those outside of Christ sometimes maybe. But doesn't it look like Jesus is saying "because they don't know what they're doing, forgive them"? One question this might raise here is, does sin get a pass because it's unintentional ? That doesn't line up with the the Law of Moses , where you had special sacrifices even for sins you didn't even know you committed. I think that sin always requires payment whether deliberate or not, but on that dark afternoon they looked up at Jesus and witnessed both the mercy of God that rejoices over judgment, and the inception of an amnesty that only the cross of Christ can provide for all of us.

Still the question remains , does God choose sometimes to just forgive someone who isn't repentant, because He chooses how and when to have mercy, and on whom? It is apparent that those who participated in the Crucifixion of Christ were pardoned for that act because Jesus asked the Father to do so. But who is the "them" that He absolved? Was it just the Roman soldiers who nailed Him up?, or would it also include all of those who took part in the travesty of justice that condemned the Innocent and caused blind hatred to supersede jurisprudence? I suppose you could even make the case that each and everyone one of us was complicit on some level. We'll never know specifically who Jesus was talking about, until we go be with Him and can ask Him ourselves. Even more than understanding who was the precise object of Jesus's forgiving in that passage, I'm intrigued with the forgiveness itself. As Christians our forgiveness is based solely on our trust in, and relationship with Jesus Christ. So even though there are no works on our behalf that can justify us, we at least are obligated to accept that freely offered sacrifice on our behalf. With the executioners of our Lord on Calvary, they neither kept God's law, nor did they have any conviction in their hearts to repent of their actions, yet they were forgiven. Maybe its just that single sin of putting to death the Innocent, that was forgiven; and they were still to be held accountable for the rest of their lives. Still Jesus chose to forgive them of that particular infraction, citing only that "they know not what they do".

What would have happened then had Jesus NOT asked for forgiveness for them...for us?. Would God have obliterated the entire world for killing His Son?...in all three of the synoptic gospels we read the parable of the husbandman whose wicked servants murdered the guy's son, and Jesus said "..When the lord therefore of the vineyard cometh, what will he do unto those husbandmen? They say unto him, He will miserably destroy those wicked men.." Surely it is impossible to understand the intricate dynamics of the Holy Trinity, but we know that although Jesus was God on Earth, He also was a Son and had a heavenly Father who fiercely loves His Son , and would be, and WILL be, a consuming fire to anyone who disrespects, much less harms His only Son. And scripture says that as His children, we too are protected by that Father , who if anyone dares mess with, it's better a millstone gets put on their neck and they get thrown into the sea, or a mother bear meet them robbed of her whelps. I believe Jesus had deep compassion for those who crucified Him KNOWING, of the swift and fierce retribution the God of Creation could have brought on them or on us all.

While we understand that specific good works and deeds do not warrant our eternal forgiveness, in 1 Peter 4:8 we read " And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins" .That idea always fascinated me, because it's as if you have an ace in the hole , or a secret emergency option you can invoke, or a "get out of sin's jail free card" to play. One might say "but what if he's talking about the sins of the one you're being charitable TOWARDS, being forgiven"? I believe that isn't it, but rather it's YOUR sins pardoned when YOU show love, because of the passage in Luke 7 where Mary anoints Jesus's feet and He says about her in verse 47 "Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little." So it also appears that having a LACK of love, can actually hinder forgiveness which is also fascinating. :)

In summation, obtaining absolution from our sins is as simple as asking for it, (from Jesus personally just you and Him, not with man's mediation) as we read in 1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Yet with the All-mighty God, He reserves the right to change the rules at will, and to sometimes make exceptions for certain individuals as He sees fit, as Paul said in Romans 9 "So then it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy....Therefore hath he mercy on whom he will have mercy, and whom he will he hardeneth."

eternal predesti-securety nation

                       The debate over calvinism vs. arminianism may never be settled, and i think God deisgned it thay way. My personal view on this has shifted over the years. I started out in my Christian walk as hard core "work out your salvation" and no one is eternally secure, but for most of my saved life. i figured the truth lay somewhere in the middle or something. Now that i think about it, i seldom even hear the topic arise anymore.                        

This blog is the product of thoughts that came to me while driving home form work one night, and although its been ages since i've posted anything here, i wanted to put these thoughts down in a place where they could be preserved for a while. It occurs to me that the function of this blogsite is manifold....to share ideas and stories with the public in order to invoke a dialogue , or to be a voice , but also for me its been a sort of archive, to store my writings and "memoirs" or whatever, and record them for any possible future refference to them i might need.                        

Two thoughts were coming to me lately, one is the nature of children before God. Its commonly accepted that children are the Lord's, until they reach a mysterious age of accountability. But is every child born a "good seed"? The other one is i was thinking and praying for two Christian people I know, that i consider to be "nominal Christians". As i was praying for them, i was telling the Lord to forgive me if i'm being judgmental in any way and acknowledging the fact that i do not see hearts as He does, and cannot always know exactly where a person stands with Him, spiritually. Yet i believe that as believers, we're "fruit inspectors" by commission, as we're to know what good fruit and bad fruit are in ourselves, we then ought also to be able to recognise those fruits in others. We look at Adolf Hitler and say he definitely wasn't saved when he died, and look at mother Theresa and say she was. But what leads us to those conclusions? isn't it the things they said, did, and stood for in their lives?...Then the statement many will make is, "well, by their fruits they were saved or not saved, yet only God knows the condition of their hearts in that moment of their last breath."
                           
I suppose you could say that this blog is about the topic of salvation really. We know that scripture says its faith alone that saves, and through faith, belief causes confession to be made unto salvation. "if you belief in your heart that Jesus Christ is Lord you are saved". ok. and the fingers and tentacles of that topic begin to reach out too, when you Analise what the word "belief " is. Most would assert that "confession" alone does not save. And James will be brought up saying "faith without works is dead", knowing that of course faith is the root, and works are the fruit.....all of that. Its been hashed out before. I liked what i heard once, and i don't know if i have it exactly right, but it says salvation is a door that on one side says "whosoever will, come and be saved"....and the other side says "you were appointed heirs of salvation from the foundations of the world"...something like that. That door really encapsulates what i wanted to discuss here.
                             
One reason i was even thinking those thoughts that night driving home, is in my daily thoughts with God i often consider the people around me, many nice and good people who do not have a living relationship with Christ. When i look at scripture, it sure seems to me that the saved will be a small percentage. And just as with many non-believers, something about that doesn't sit right with me. The opponents of God hold that complaint up all the time, saying God isn't fair and how can a loving God send so many to hell yada yada. I blogged a couple years ago about hell and my view on that, but i guess there's still something in my carnal nature maybe, in my flesh that rebels against that notion. I think it has to do with my sinfulness and pride really...it wants to reject that i am a sinner through and through. Its in the light of God's Holiness that we really see how sinful we are, and those without , living in the dark, will not come in to the light and have their deeds exposed, so they therefor have a skewed view of what is fair about God's dealings with us. It's not based on what His word says, but on the person's feelings. Nevertheless, i confess it still seems strange that eternal condemnation and torment await nice people and little old ladies i see in the world. That's one of those things you just have to say, "i don't get it, i just believe what the Bible says". And i really think the reason i don't get it, is because i do not usually have the understanding of these things that God has.
                               
I've been trying to get myself , to see this issue more from the standpoint of how the Bible speaks on it, and less about how i feel. Which of course is what every Christian should do about every issue. And the more i do that, gradually i gain a better understanding. I'm going to insert here many Bible passages and verses that have been coming to mind, not because i'm trying to proof text the Bible and cherry pick its verses and make it back what i believe. Sadly , i think that goes on a lot with Christian writers. But honestly it will just be me writing what i have been thinking, and it will show how i arrive at my conclusions, and reveal the process of how i'm learning to think about these controversial topics to form my personal views on them. the Bible says Christians walk in the Spirit, grow in the Lord, and in the process have their way of thinking transformed. I believe the main way that happens is through His word. I've always believed that. God has said not to worry about what you will say when you are questioned for your faith and threatened because of it, and likewise i think remembrance of Bible verses at precisely the right time and way we need them in our lives today, works the same way. It's truly one of the ways the Bible becomes alive for the believer.
                              
Children are special to God, Jesus brought it to light in the gospels paying attention to them and using His encounter with them to teach His disciples about God's relationship with us. its clear all throughout the Bible that we're to understand our relationship with God, in terms of Earthly children and parents. I try and keep in mind always, that everything in this world and in nature, is a reflection, example, illustration and picture of God and of heaven. I don't believe really that there are any "children" in heaven as such. Heaven is not like here. God has sought to use things of the Earth that we know, to illustrate things about heaven He wants us to know. As Moses was shown the throne room, and told to make everything for the tabernacle according to that picture, we too are told to think of the Earthly marriage covenant between man and woman, as a picture of Christ and the church...the communion elements and passover dinner represent the sacrificial Lamb of God from both sides of the new covenant, and so on. In short, life on Earth, is one big picture book of heaven to learn about it with, if it be that God has given us the understanding to do so. The study of Jesus saying that His Kingdom is made up of children, and that we need to be that way to enter it, is a fascinating one. But does that infer that all children on Earth are saved?...I'm not going to suggest to you that they aren't, or argue that issue .I realise that's sensitive territory and pretty much everyone believes that no child will be eternally condemned. But when you go to heaven, do you have an age distinction there?..aren't you a Spirit as Jesus is, and the demographics of personhood no longer apply, no male of female, no age?....Just something to keep in mind as you ponder the question of salvation of children. When Christians tell me they have always known God, my eye twitches slightly. not because i doubt their word, but because i question whether they ever really had a moment of surrender to Jesus....according to John 3, second birth is required. David said in Psalm 51:5 that he was born in sin, and shaped in iniquity. Children were slain by God in the Bible, not only the heathen, but God's people's kids too.
                               
The salvation of children is related to my thoughts on eternal security because i think i'm beginning to see in scripture more evidence of "predestination" if you want to put it that way. A more messy discussion than even once saved always saved. People don't like that one because they think it implies that if you're destined to be or not be saved, then what good is the gospel message to you? why do you need it? I'm not going there right now either, only for the sake of not turning a blog into a book. anyhoo if we're born with a blueprint for eternal life or eternal death, then even as a child, there could be that terrible sentence in them. It's just i wasn't willing at first to see that side of it, but many things in scripture cannot be ignored. In Matthew 13 Jesus taught about the wheat and tares growing together , indistinguishable to us, but one day God would divide them at the judgment. Paul describes another concept that was strong for me that night along with the 2 sided door, in Galatians 4:1-3. there he says the "heir" is brought up under tutors and governors the same way as the servants in the house. a picture of the elect in the world , being subject to the same rain showers the heathen take cover from. We are the heirs. Those of us who know and love Jesus. We live and grow in the world the same as those who don't know Him, yet from birth, He knows us, His sheep. From the womb the heirs have His mark on them. By virtue of God's foreknowledge we are in a sense "predestined" by Him, and make no mistake the Bible puts in those exact terms. (Romans 8:29,30). Yet i would be foolish to shrug off my responsibility to seek the forgiveness of God, because of Him knowing my eternal fate before i know it, or worse yet think my calling gives me somehow a licence to sin because I'm locked in. I dono, Jesus told the Pharisees and Jews in the gospel of John that they would not hear His words and believe them, because they were not His. Obviously being God He knew, but from His standpoint those Jews were predestined to judgment, not from our perspective. And if that's how it works with the Pharisees, then it works that way with children.
                               
 So what's the point? for the unbeliever, all of this makes no difference i suppose, but I'm thinking that as Christians we need to understand a better way to evaluate the spiritual condition of both ourselves, and even other people . For our own good, for the vital reason that if we're faced with the stark knowledge of whether someone is either on this side or on the other side, (and granted its not always for us to know), we'll be passionate in our dealings. The dealings of ourselves before God, and of our responsibility to share the gospel message of Christ with the lost. If we are unclear about where God draws the line in terms of what He expects from us, then we ought to be vigilant in our study of scripture and make sure we have a grounded base to support that knowledge. If we're foggy about who needs to hear and who doesn't, than we're less likely to pass along what we know with others. It leads to dangerous complacency. There are 4 types of people in the world. 1- those who love God, 2 -those who are antagonistic, or indifferent to God, 3 - the prodigal sons of God who are looking like tares growing together with them, until they awaken from their trance and come home to God and, 4- the MANY , who stand before Jesus at the end saying "Lord Lord", thinking they knew Him but get rejected by Him.
                              
It's in the Heavenly deck of cards, and no one down here really knows until they're played. But for me personally, it's one less dart the devil can throw at me when i don't have to ponder if i'm really His, if i will ever fall away, and if i have to continue to struggle with trying to figure out where the line is drawn, and who is on this or that side of it. Certain of us are just His sheep. Some staying in the fold, some wandering off to be found later,....some needing to wake up and realise they are lost. It gives me peace...assures me, that most will not hear the message, and i don't have to let satan condemn me that i didn't share it right, or be a good enough witness. only those the Father draws, will come. I don't have any profound ending to all of this...guess it's just me airing my thoughts.